My Costco Test
For many people with chronic illness, they have to learn a "new" normal. Whether it's dealing with pain, or learning how to make it through a week with debilitating fatigue or other symptoms, these sufferers have learned many tricks. But no matter how many tricks or adaptations are made, there are always times when it is forgone and the previous normal is tested out again, usually to some detriment.
For me, this is tested at Costco. It is one place that I just cannot let go of, mostly because there are items I prefer to get there, for both price-wise and convenience. But Costco is the place that stimulates some of the most symptoms for me, and is therefore is the barometer of how well I am doing with my health.
Even on those seemingly good days, Costco's lights and fast pace, the aisles that require turning my head back and forth, people rushing around me, the loudness, the smells, the walking or even riding the scooters- it becomes too much. I become dizzy, nauseous, lightheaded, weak, overstimulated, in pain, and a bit confused or disoriented.
I've gone a few times to Costco and made it out with minimal symptoms. There have been other times where it knocks me down for several days. The past year has had a great decline in my health, with the low point being generally unable to leave the house or walk more than a few feet without feeling lightheaded to the point to fainting. From this point it has been a slow and gradual improvement of sorts, so it has been difficult to find the boundary of what I can and can't tolerate.
Recently, despite some major pain issues, I've been feeling ok overall. So I made a quick Costco trip- I had less than 10 things on my list. I parked, not in the handicap spot (there weren't any), and made my way in, already feeling the symptoms start by the time I hit the air conditioning. I paused and tried to regain my control, then continued. I know where everything is, for the most part, so I made the shortest trail around there possible. By the time I made it to the refrigerated section, I was feeling all the symptoms, and the pain had me nearly in tears. I persisted, gathering everything I needed and making it to the registers, desperate to get out of there. Once loaded up in the van and seated, I couldn't help but be discouraged. I had been feeling that I was getting so much closer to being able to do "normal" activities. But to feel as symptomatic and terrible as I did from a quick trip to Costco, just confirms that I am no where near "normal"-ready yet.
All in all, I am thankful for my Costco barometer. It keeps me from making unwise decisions, like trying to do too much or go back to work too soon.
For me, this is tested at Costco. It is one place that I just cannot let go of, mostly because there are items I prefer to get there, for both price-wise and convenience. But Costco is the place that stimulates some of the most symptoms for me, and is therefore is the barometer of how well I am doing with my health.
Even on those seemingly good days, Costco's lights and fast pace, the aisles that require turning my head back and forth, people rushing around me, the loudness, the smells, the walking or even riding the scooters- it becomes too much. I become dizzy, nauseous, lightheaded, weak, overstimulated, in pain, and a bit confused or disoriented.
I've gone a few times to Costco and made it out with minimal symptoms. There have been other times where it knocks me down for several days. The past year has had a great decline in my health, with the low point being generally unable to leave the house or walk more than a few feet without feeling lightheaded to the point to fainting. From this point it has been a slow and gradual improvement of sorts, so it has been difficult to find the boundary of what I can and can't tolerate.
Recently, despite some major pain issues, I've been feeling ok overall. So I made a quick Costco trip- I had less than 10 things on my list. I parked, not in the handicap spot (there weren't any), and made my way in, already feeling the symptoms start by the time I hit the air conditioning. I paused and tried to regain my control, then continued. I know where everything is, for the most part, so I made the shortest trail around there possible. By the time I made it to the refrigerated section, I was feeling all the symptoms, and the pain had me nearly in tears. I persisted, gathering everything I needed and making it to the registers, desperate to get out of there. Once loaded up in the van and seated, I couldn't help but be discouraged. I had been feeling that I was getting so much closer to being able to do "normal" activities. But to feel as symptomatic and terrible as I did from a quick trip to Costco, just confirms that I am no where near "normal"-ready yet.
All in all, I am thankful for my Costco barometer. It keeps me from making unwise decisions, like trying to do too much or go back to work too soon.
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