Musings and Mutterings

The last week has been a rough one, health-wise especially, on a few different levels. Doctor visits, medication changes, and new side effects to deal with. Combine this with the "life stuff" and it is just beyond overwhelming, frustrating, and isolating. Between everything, it is easy to feel as though life is spinning out of control and soon everything is about to fly apart. I've been living in   that place this week. And I've gone a little crazy I think. Actually, I'm pretty sure I have. Thankfully, I have the choice to step away from the crazy train and spinning ride, and refocus on the faith that grounds me to reality. Which is kind of a weird thing, and definitely a "peace that passes all understanding." In the current crazy train of this chronic illness, there is a real possibility that I may lose everything- I've exhausted all resources and have no way to make it through this month. I don't have the finances to pay the bills, I've ...

Last summer after being diagnosed with POTS- a disorder that caused me to faint and experience life limiting symptoms constantly, to say that I struggled is a vast understatement. I did not slip into a depression, I fell head-first. That feeling of being so empty, its just beyond difficult to cope with and overcome. I remember reading once that depression is the continual inward focus on self, and that if you can move your focus outward, you can begin to move toward recovery. I don't know if this is true for everyone in all depressive circumstances, but it was for me this last summer. I began a gratitude journal, and this paradigm shift was what I needed to move me from empty to full again. I think that remembering the power that positive can have on your entire existence and those around you is the point of what I am called to do with my life. It is who I am created to be, and it drives me. I need to remember this power, and weed out the negative both external and internally. Ne...