What I Can.

There is so much discussion right now in our society of who is to blame for the recurring mass shootings that typically are a result of a young male, with some mental health history, and perhaps had a single mother. I have the great fortune to be the mother (single) to three amazing kids, and one of them has some special ways that he interacts with the world. I'm sure that most days, he sees these unique attributes as annoying or a hindrance to the fact that he is different than his peers. The labels he has accumulated over the 10 years of his short life are sobering, especially for this mama. But not nearly as sobering as how we have gotten to this place. Years of bullying others and feeling bullied himself. Years of struggling in school, having teachers unable to say anything positive about him.Years of talks of not wanting to live. Years with incidents with threats to himself and others. Years of reaching out for help, to find nearly no support there. Years of living in fear- in fear of the possibilities.

And being in this position, I can tell you that it is scary. I do not own a gun, very intentionally. Is that enough? Maybe not. But I'm doing what I can.
I'm doing what I can to get him the help and support he needs. Counseling- Individual, family, within the school itself. We have had crisis counselors coming to our house regularly for 2 years. Psychiatrists. In patient hospitalizations. Case managers. Hours and hours of meetings to make sure that he is getting all the help he needs. I do more deescalation and crisis intervention than any "normal" parent can imagine. I do everything I can.

Yet, there are millions of parents and citizens commenting on what more should have been done, or should be done, for kids like mine. And I agree that these kids need so much more support than what they are given, it might surprise the commentators who it needs to come from...
It needs to come from them. It needs to come from me. We need to reach into each others lives and help support these parents who are ill-equipped to deal with this. We should show love by helping these single moms with children who have mental health issues by showing up in their day to day: bring them a meal, listen to their struggles, play dates and party invites, offer to take their kid to school for them. These little things become big things that make a big difference to a kid with struggles.

 Will it be enough? I don't know. But its what I can.



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