How's it going?

Our society has a bad habit: polite perfunctory exchanges.
These drawl and drab traditions are great at heart, and truly I think they come from a genuine place for most people. However, the usual exchange of "Hi, how are you?" "Good (or 'ok' or similar nondescript terminology), how are you?" "Good, thanks," is so often a ritualistic custom without much forethought. And for most places and people, this is totally acceptable- and probably applicable.




When you have a chronic illness (or a barrage of them), this takes on a whole new degree of complicated- do you lie or tell the truth, protect them and yourself or just lay it all out there? Personally, I've found the former to be the way to go, if for no other reason than time constraints. Typically this serves me well. Even at doctor appointments, the half-hearted opening discourse that begins the entire interaction is routine and rushed, and the rest of the interaction is the same. Once I tried to be thorough and honest and open, and it took me over an hour to tell the poor doctor what was going on. So I try not to divulge it all. It's "I'm ok" and "I'm hanging in there" and "I've been struggling." We take those platforms and dive from there. Most doctors, I'm established enough with that going into great laborious backgrounds isn't necessary. There are the updates- as simple and short as possible, because I've read their records and documentation- they don't always (usually) get it right. These errors greatly affect my life on many levels, that I could write pages and pages on... but I don't want to digress.




Today I saw my optometrist. I don't see her nearly as often as I'm supposed to, though in my defense, I have a few other priories. So it started with the perfunctory conversation, and I did the usual "I'm ok." But she is one who wanted more information, details. Why is my vision blurry at times, what sorts of post-concussive symptoms I'm having, which of course led into why I have concussions and how many, etc. I brought up my concerns of the autoimmune disease and its effect on my eyes, and she brought up her own concerns. The longer we talked, I could feel her whole mood shift. This palpable change is easy to decipher- especially when I listen to myself through her ears. My career has crumbled, my health is frail, my life is a bit of a disaster. She knows my kids and their struggles. This is not easy. I down play it all with humor, probably too much... anyway, she had great insight into my vision issues. And more referrals.



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