Choices

The last week has been a rough one, health-wise especially, on a few different levels. Doctor visits, medication changes, and new side effects to deal with. Combine this with the "life stuff" and it is just beyond overwhelming, frustrating, and isolating. Between everything, it is easy to feel as though life is spinning out of control and soon everything is about to fly apart. I've been living in that place this week. And I've gone a little crazy I think. Actually, I'm pretty sure I have.

Thankfully, I have the choice to step away from the crazy train and spinning ride, and refocus on the faith that grounds me to reality. Which is kind of a weird thing, and definitely a "peace that passes all understanding." In the current crazy train of this chronic illness, there is a real possibility that I may lose everything- I've exhausted all resources and have no way to make it through this month. I don't have the finances to pay the bills, I've bought some groceries and essentials to make it a little bit longer, and then it will be all gone. I have medical bills piled up, credit card bills, a mortgage, loans, etc...
You know what I mean, you have them all too.
It is a tiny, baby step to the crazy train and spinning out-of-control ride. And it is a natural one to make.

But for someone who has faith in Jesus (yes, I went there), the choice must be a conscious one. Find the Solid Rock and Cornerstone-- and jump from the crazy train. Jesus asked for me to follow him, and did not define everything that would entail, apart from there would be troubles.
Troubles. Check. Have those.
But I have faith that God will care for me and my family like He said He will, even if it may not be in the way I want or hope for. Either way, I believe that He will work things out for good. This gives me a peace in this spinning ride.

Jesus is 'the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.'
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.
Acts 4:11-12

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